Throwing Stones

Today while outside I was watching my two younger kids throwing pebbles at different things. I heard my son tell my baby throw one at this leaf because it was ugly. And in that moment I could see a life lesson already being taught to her. It's a life lesson we all need to learn.
To often we are so ready to judge this person or put down a person or complain about someone for whatever reason. It's almost as if we are throwing stones at them. While we aren't perfect ourselves.

Look at the way her child behaves- throw a stone
Look at that house,it so run down- throw a stone
Look at the way she is dress or her hair is colored- Throw a stone
If you were not so fat you would fit- throw a stone
You should eat more your as skin as a toothpick- throw a stone
He cheated on his wife- Throw a stone
He was accused of behaving badly with children- Throw a stone

At ex-NFL player Steve McNair's memorial service the minster there touched on this same topic. He asked that if people there and in the media were so perfect then they could cast all of their stones. But if they weren't with out blame that they should put those same stones down. Seems like the more and more that came out about Steve McNair the more and more people forgot about his football career and the good things he had done in his community. The only thing that was focused on was his affair and his relationship with that young girl. How quickly we were throwing stones his way and kick him when he was unable to defend himself. I'm not saying that his affair was right. But we don't know what his home life was like, we don't know if that girl was chasing after him and he was giving her things to keep her away from his family. There are so many things you just don't know. The one thing that seem to be over looked during all of the findings were his wife and her hurt and her shame that she was carrying for not knowing about the secret life he was leading. We forgot all about his grieving kids while we were raking him over the coals. One day his kids are going to read all of those stones that were thrown and find out that people were saying just ugly and mean and hurtful things about him.

I know I do it all the time. I don't mean to and I never thing about it at the time. But I say things that hurt, I think things about people that are unkind. Many times before I know it have thrown that stone at them and never take the time to stop and think about my own life and what I have going on that isn't so perfect. Those stones we throw are the words that destroy people, that tear them down emotionally and mentally. Those same stones are the stones we teach our children to throw as they bully the kid on the playground, or the tease the kid because they are not dress a certain way. Those stones are the stones that cause people to do harm to others, those stones are the stones that make a person feel less then, those same stones are the stones that lead to people killing themselves. If we all just lay our stones down. Take a step back. Realize that we all need each other and we all to build each other up instead of tearing each other down. Our world would be a better place. We can't ask our future generations to be better then the one before them when they example they have to lead them are to busy teaching them to throw stones.

After listening to my son tell my daughter to throw that pebble at that leaf because it was ugly. I went over to both of them and ask my son can't you find one good thing about that leaf. Isn't there some beauty in it somewhere. The leaf was brown with yellow and green spots all over it. It was not the best leaf but it was not an ugly leaf that need to be stoned by two small kids. So after a minute or two my son said come on baby lets go put the leaf in the water and see if it floats. He looked back at me while picking up the leaf and said I think this ugly leaf will make a good boat. At his age it was hard to make him understand that everything had beauty in it.

Look at the way her child behaves- Lay that stone down
Look at that house,it so run down- Lay that stone down
Look at the way she is dress or her hair is colored- Lay that stone down
If you were not so fat you would fit- Lay that stone down
You should eat more your as skin as a toothpick- Lay that stone down
He cheated on his wife- Lay that stone down
He was accused of behaving badly with children- Lay that stone down

Book Review: Finding Grace A memoir by Donna Vanliere

While on a recent trip the public library I notice they had put out about many new books. At our local library they put them right in front at near the check out counter. With all three kids I don't get to go to the Adult side of the library to often with out of one of them having some kind of meltdown, that requires me leaving apologizing for them being so loud. So this trip I stayed right where the new books were.

After reading many of the backs of the books and trying to find one, I came across this book. "Finding Grace A memeior" I looked at the cover and before reading the inside cover of the book I knew I was taking it with me. The cover of the book is covered in little pictures of the authors family and of her self growing up as a child. I had never heard of her before and didn't really give much thought to her name. That day had been a trying day and maybe something guided my hand to that book and opened my eyes so that I could see the title and pulled at my heart to let me know I needed what that book had to say.

The book goes from her early childhood through her struggle with infertility and through her search for grace that was hidden through all she had to endure. She tells of sexual abuse that happen once to her and then again there was an attempt but she found strength to fight the person off. She tells how she blamed her self and how she shut that part of herself off so she didn't have to feel. She tells of how she met her husband and how he wanted to adopt children and she wanted to give birth to her own flesh and blood. All through her struggles she fought with finding her self and fought with her faith and belief in God and what he had planned for her. She fought with trying to put herself aside and letting God take over. She looked for answers to prayers that she was praying in her time and instead of in God's time. With each chapter you got to see more and more into the soul of her and into the Grace that she was searching for. Then she tells of her and her husband's decision to adopt their three wonderful children. About the long wait and the process they had to go through. And each time she looked for God's grace. The more she looked the more and more God made his presences known by things she would read or thing she would see. But like all of us when you are looking for something it's when you never seem to find it. But when you wait and slow down you truly find what you are looking for.

I would say if you are needing a book that is uplifting and full of heartache and happiness and direction, then you should for sure pick up this book. It took me all of two days to read it cover to cover. I'm sure before it's due back I will read it again to see if I have missed anything.