Saturday, March 27, 2010

My Security blanket

I realized that I have a very long security blanket, I drag it around with me every where I go. I brush it and hold on to it. I take care of it and I changes it's color. When I am frustrated with it I put it all up in a bun and just go as it is. When I am in love with it I wear it down and show how long and shine it is.

More and More I count on this blanket to protect me and to hide me from the real issues I have. It keeps me safe and it keeps me living for those days long ago. It never changes with the seasons and it never fades.

I need to let go of it. I need to find my way with out it. I need to find the younger me that is dying to get out. The woman that is trapped beneath it all. I need to show my girls that it's good to have a change and its good to let go.

So I'm letting go. My security blanket is going to get a little shorter and a little more up to date. I am shedding those pounds and pounds of hair. Those ones that give me a headache. The ones that wrap around my neck in my sleep if they are put high on top of my head. Those ones that cover the bathroom floor and get in between your toes when you walk. I am shedding that security of knowing that it's there to hide my face when I don't want the world to see my sad eyes.

I have picked the style of the new do. I have made the appointment to go get it done. I am planning a half a day to take care of me. Jordan is watching the little ones and Rob will be at work. When he comes home he will have a new me waiting on him.

I have another security blanket to shed too. And as much as I wish it would be just as easy to get ride of, I know it won't be. I need to find a way to shed it as well. Maybe the strength of getting rid of one of them will help me shed the other larger one that needs to go.

Stay tuned for the me without the security blanket.

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