Happy 3rd Birthday Serenity

It's so hard to believe that she is just three years old with the year we have had. Seems has if a whole life time of stuff has happen to her in the three short years she has been with us.

We had real reason to celebrate this year and real reason to be grateful for all that has happen and all that we can slowly put behind us. Just two short days before her birthday we were told by her GI doctors that she looked great. That her labs had come back all in healthy range and that she was finally right at the correct weight for her age and height. She was no longer showing signs of flair ups and she seems for once to have her colitis and crohn's disease under control. That was like music to my ears, it had to be right up there with the day she was born and we heard her first cry.

I made a huge cake for a big BBQ and we had tons of family over for her big day. She loved every minute of the all the attention she got. She loves to be the center of the attention. She got tons of barbie's and dress up stuff, a tea party set and clothes. Everything a little girl could ever want.

The BOSTON CREAM PIE is Rob's Birthday cake. He turned 39 this past week as well.

Without the security blanket

I went today and got rid of the blanket. I have decided to stop hiding behind it and just let go and have fun.

So here is the new and improved blanket..

My Security blanket

I realized that I have a very long security blanket, I drag it around with me every where I go. I brush it and hold on to it. I take care of it and I changes it's color. When I am frustrated with it I put it all up in a bun and just go as it is. When I am in love with it I wear it down and show how long and shine it is.

More and More I count on this blanket to protect me and to hide me from the real issues I have. It keeps me safe and it keeps me living for those days long ago. It never changes with the seasons and it never fades.

I need to let go of it. I need to find my way with out it. I need to find the younger me that is dying to get out. The woman that is trapped beneath it all. I need to show my girls that it's good to have a change and its good to let go.





So I'm letting go. My security blanket is going to get a little shorter and a little more up to date. I am shedding those pounds and pounds of hair. Those ones that give me a headache. The ones that wrap around my neck in my sleep if they are put high on top of my head. Those ones that cover the bathroom floor and get in between your toes when you walk. I am shedding that security of knowing that it's there to hide my face when I don't want the world to see my sad eyes.

I have picked the style of the new do. I have made the appointment to go get it done. I am planning a half a day to take care of me. Jordan is watching the little ones and Rob will be at work. When he comes home he will have a new me waiting on him.

I have another security blanket to shed too. And as much as I wish it would be just as easy to get ride of, I know it won't be. I need to find a way to shed it as well. Maybe the strength of getting rid of one of them will help me shed the other larger one that needs to go.

Stay tuned for the me without the security blanket.

Chocolate cake to die for

I am always looking for quick and simple recipes. Something my family can enjoy after dinner that doesn't take hours to make. While reading Melinda's Kitchen Diary I stumbled across another blog. Cookie baker lynn, the name alone was begging for me to read. I love making cookies and I was just hoping she had simple cookies to make that would work for what I had in my home already.

I never dreamed that I would find beautiful cakes and simple deserts on her site. The name of her blog it throws you off but, once you start reading and you see all the love that she puts into her deserts you can't help yourself but to try and find just one that you can make right then.

Crunch time, what one do I make first?
I decided that I would make start the with simplest desert she has on her blog.

Texas Fudge Cake
This cake was so super simple to make and the taste is to die for. It's moist and just the right amount of chocolate. There isn't to much frosting and it's not super sweet. I had intentions of posting a picture of this cake but for whatever reason my camera has decided it no longer wants to work. I am hoping that my husband can fix it so that you guys can see this cake.

Texas Fudge Cake

1 cup butter (2 sticks)
5 Tbsp cocoa
1 cup water
2 cups sifted flour
2 cups sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla
Frosting (recipe below)

1- Preheat oven to 375 deg. F with rack in the center of the oven. Butter and flour a 9 x 13 metal pan.

2- In a medium saucepan combine the butter, cocoa, and water. Bring to a boil.

3- In a large bowl whisk together the flour, sugar, salt, and baking soda.

4- Pour the hot ingredients in the the dry ingredients. Stir well with a wooden spoon.

5- Add the eggs, milk, and vanilla. Stir until the batter is smooth.

6- Pour the batter into the prepared pan and place it in the oven. Bake for 25 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean. (While the cake is baking, wash the saucepan and bowl. You'll use them for the frosting.)

7- Remove the cake from the oven and place it on a wire rack to cool. Immediately make the frosting and pour the frosting over the warm cake. Spread the frosting evenly and let the cake cool as much as you can bear before cutting into squares and devouring.

Frosting

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter
3 Tbsp milk
2 Tbsp cocoa
dash salt
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups powdered sugar

1- In medium saucepan combine the butter, milk, cocoa, salt, and vanilla. Bring to a boil.

2- Place the powdered sugar in a large bowl. Pour the hot ingredients over the powdered sugar and beat with a wooden spoon until the frosting is smooth.

Cake Baking crazy

Here lately I have been so busy baking cakes. I keep improving my skills and it's really starting to show in the cakes I am making. I have even started to make a little money now off of them. I never charge what they are worth but that is ok. I enjoy it and it's never been about the money anyways.

This cake was a Pirate/Princess Birthday party. It was for a great little girl name Jacalyn. Her mom is my son's Kindergarten teacher.







This is my first attempts at making roses. I can't being to tell you how many went in back in the bowl before I had some really great ones.



This is the cake that all the flowers went on. My niece need a large cake and cupcakes for her baby shower. She came to me with an idea for a black and white cake with small hints of pink. It wasn't much to go off but I knew she was counting on my to have an amazing cake for her. So I had to come through. I decided that I wanted to play around with fondant. I made a batch of Marshmallow fondant and colored it pink. I made the ribbons around the bottom of each layer in fondant. The frosting was a simple decorators frosting.

How with the old and in with the new

Seems like 2009 just drug and drug right along. I can't say I have ever been so happy to see a year over with as I was last year. It's seemed there were more things wrong with last year then there was right.

This year I am hoping to have a better year. I have never been good at making resolutions for what I want out of the new year. I have always felt those are just huge promises you make to yourself that you never really keep and then at the end of the year you are let down again. So instead of lying to myself from the get go, I just take each day as the come and embrace whatever happens and keep on moving. I can't say that I don't get down or get mad about things because that would be huge lie. I just try not to dwell on it.

I am hoping to get better at baking this year. I really want to start making better quality cakes. I also want to make more from scratch and stop using so many store bought items. I have been working on cutting our budget down at the grocery store. I don't know that I am really making head way there but I am truly trying.

I do need to work on me but I am not going to get hung up on that or worry about it if it doesn't happen. I need to loose weight. I have needed to do that for years. Sometimes I lose a little and then I stay there but for the most part I have stayed the same weight for 4 yrs. So I am pretty comfortable with the weight I am. Not that it's a healthy weight or that it's something I want to stay at. I just don't worry about it or get all hung up on exercising or eating things that taste like cardboard. We eat pretty healthy and I don't over eat and I try hard not to stress eat. I drink lots of sweet tea and diet Dr. pepper and very little water. So I am sure if I cut those things out and maybe walk a mile or two I would be fine. I'll just play by ear and see what happens.

So far this year in the baking department I am off to a busy start.

January 6th- I am making a cake for Logan's teacher. It's her birthday and she loves Chocolate,cheesecake,strawberries. So she will get my Cheesecake stuff chocolate cake with butter cream frosting and chocolate covered strawberries on top.

January 9th- I am making a ton of cupcakes for my niece's baby shower. She is doing a black and white theme for her shower. I will be adding a little pink since her baby is a girl. We are super excited for her arrival and I can't wait to make the cup cakes.

February 1st- Is Logan's birthday. I have not clue on the cake as of yet but it will be fun. Also cupcakes for his class.
February 1st- Is my mom's birthday. I want to make her a nice cake and have her over for dinner. She rarely does anything on that day and her husband doesn't push her to do stuff. So I am wanting to do something great for them.
February- My Mom and Step dad both turn 50 this year. We are having a big party for them. So that is another cake.

March 14th is my Anniversary and I will make some kind of fun cake for that.

April 4th Easter and I am hoping to host an Easter egg hunt and make a ham and cake and some other great goodies for that.
April 14th- Rob's birthday and I am going to make him a boston cream pie(cake)
April 17th- Serenity will be turning 3. So that is another cake with lots of pink.

May 9th- I will host my mom and my MIL over for a brunch. I am hoping to do a small desert of some sort for them.

June 20th- Father's day. Not to sure if anything will happen that day.

July 4th- I am sure we will cook out and I'll make a flag cake or something like that.
July 27th- Jordan's 14th birthday. WOW (tear tears and more tears) I have no clue on the type of cake or if she will even want one. Teenagers are so funny.

That is as far as I have gotten with my baking and party plans. I am sure the details and plans will all fall into place and things will work out nicely.

Hope everyone has a Happy and healthy and a blessed 2010.

Christmas has come and gone

While it has come and gone, it's not completely over for me. My oldest has taken a trip with her Nana and Papa and isn't home as of yet to celebrate with us. She left on the December 18th and won't be home until after the 1st of the year. While I have been on edge I am so happy she got to go and see parts of the world she may not get to see other wise. It's always nice when anyone things enough of your child to want to them with them on a long car ride and even nicer when a family member has open their home up to your child. So until she is home I have to look at the tree and the stockings all hung up. I am ready to see it down but I want things to be just like she was here on Christmas morning when she opens her presents.

I baked and baked and oh yeah baked. I made so many cookies this years, I can't even being to tell you all the dozens that have come and gone out of my kitchen this year. I made most of the ones I wanted to and a few that I hadn't planned on. I gave many as gifts and many we passed along to people who had stopped by to visit. I made my first ever Yule log. It turned out nicely and it was very tasty.

The little kids got everything they wanted and then some. We opened up our home to a couple who need a place to have a Christmas dinner at. It was really nice to have them in our home. They are lovely people and I hope that we get to have them over more often.